Cleavage

Is it just me, or is there more cleavage on display this year at school? I remember hearing one of the administrators say something about how the dress code exists to reduce distractions in the classroom. This was at one of the beginning-of-the-year speeches they always make right after school starts -- you know, the ones where they come into a classroom to talk and answer questions for half an hour. When I heard him say that the dress code would reduce distractions, I thought to myself, "I think you got that backwards, Chief! The classwork is distracting me from my real purpose, which is to surreptitiously stare at pretty girls." And there was part of me that actually believed that for a long time. But then I took a stroll to the pencil sharpener.

Friday. Third period. Quiet scratching of graphite on paper as the class finishes a worksheet the sub handed out. She hears my lead snap and looks over, so I hold the pencil up and gesture toward the pencil sharpener on the wall by the door: May I? She nods and goes back to her magazine. I rise and begin my winding trek between the rows and up the aisles around the many desks between mine and the pencil sharpener. The trip is uneventful and few, if any, of the hunched students bother to look up as I make my way past. Pencil sharpened to a fine point and ready to finish the last four questions of the worksheet, I turn to face the class. Nothing has changed but my perspective; however, from this standing vantage point I am suddenly aware of how much "natural scenery" I will encounter on my return trip. How can I say this tastefully? Let's just say that when the air is clear and the sun is bright, the mountains and valleys present an incredible view. And I gotta be honest: I could see a long way into some of those valleys! In fact, one canyon I passed was so deep that I could almost see all the way to the mountain peaks! Yes, it was a distraction, and I never did finish that worksheet.

I can hear some of you now: Geez, you perv! Avert your eyes! Just because it's on display doesn't mean you have to stop and stare! But, I promise, I wasn't doing that! I averted my eyes from one shadowy valley and found myself facing the gentle slopes of another. The trip back to my desk was a veritable range of mountainous terrain, and short of closing my eyes and stumbling blindly through the aisles, there was nothing I could do to prevent myself from seeing far more than I should have.

Part of it was the fact that I was standing up and the rest of the class was seated. Such a view from above does influence just how far into "the valley" you can see, and I started to wonder if certain girls are aware of this. You know how some girls sort of get a reputation for being skanky because of the way they dress? And it's not the guys who brand them that way, it's usually other girls who don't dress the same! But my point is that many of the girls in that class were not ones with such a reputation. Is it possible that "nice" girls have cleavage, too?

This got me thinking about something I heard a girl say once last year: Because of the current styles and fashions, it is hard for girls to find modest clothing. "I can only buy what the stores sell," she said. I don't know if I actually believe that because there are still plenty of girls who don't seem to have a problem keeping themselves fully covered, but maybe there is some truth to it; maybe there really is a fashion trend toward revealing clothes. Based on what's on TV and in the magazine ads now, it certainly seems that's the case. But still...

I noticed at lunch that one of the girls from that class had been given an oversized (and hideous) t-shirt to wear for the rest of the day. Apparently someone referred her to the office, so what she was wearing must have been deemed inappropriate by a faculty member, but I also saw a couple of the other girls from that class who had just as much of themselves on display and who were not referred. This got me thinking about how a dress code is enforced. I mean, who decides what is okay and what isn't? I remember seeing our hall monitor (who is often known by another, less savory, name) having a trio of seventh grade girls kneel outside the office while she measured with a ruler to see how far above their knees their shorts came. (One of the girls was actually crying.) Since I have never read the dress code or been hauled in to have any of my clothes measured, I don't know what the exact measurement is that would require a student to call home and ask Mom to bring some longer shorts, but if such a number exists, who decided that was the line between what is appropriate and what is not? And what makes that person the authority?

Then I really got to wondering. When it comes to shorts, it's easy (and humiliating) to have a student kneel and submit to the ruler. But does the same method apply when it comes to deciding on appropriate shirts for girls to wear? (Do they actually measure something with a ruler before they decide who has to wear the hideous oversized t-shirt for the rest of the day?) Then I remembered another one of those lines from a former administrator about how girls should not wear very tight shirts that were "form fitting." The girl behind me in that class whispered to her friend that she was once forced to wear the hideous shirt from the office because they said her shirt was too "form fitting", but her friend had worn the shirt the next day and no one said a word. "I got punished for having bigger boobs!" she hissed angrily.

When I remembered that, I started thinking about what would have happened if a boy had worn the shirt. Would he have been sent to the office because it was too "form fitting"? Is it really fair to make a dress code based not on the clothes themselves but on the size and shape of people's bodies? Hmmm....

A couple years ago, thong underwear and belly shirts were popular, and it wasn't uncommon to see girls with the top of their flourescent orange thong sticking out the back of their low-slung jeans. I haven't seen as much of that lately. These days it seems to be cleavage. I don't want to moralize, but I will say this: Ladies, what you see in the mirror every morning when you get ready for school may not be what I see when I stand up to sharpen my pencil during class. Maybe some of you know that already, but I just wanted to warn those who may not. And just so you know, rather than sneaking a look down your shirt, most guys would rather look you in the eyes and have you smile and say "hi." Try it sometime!

Fire in the Hole!

Is it just me, or is it hot in here? I'm talking about the school. Has anyone else noticed how hot it is? (That's a rhetorical question. Of course you've all noticed! How could anyone not notice a temperature of 96 degrees fahrenheit? That was the reading on the thermometer in Mrs. C's science classroom duiring seventh period yesterday.) And then in Mr. T's class, there's this blue handout stapled by the door. It's a memo from the "safety coordinator." The subject is "Hot Envirnoments," and it was apparently distributed to all the teachers in schools that still have no air-conditioning...of which ours is one. I took the liberty of copying some of the most interesting passages from the memo:

"The body reacts to high external temperature by circulating blood to the skin which increases skin temperature and allows the body to give off its excess heat. However, sweating is effective only if the humidity level is low enough to permit evaporation and if the fluids and salts lost are adequately replaced."

Why is this information teachers and students should even have to bother with?! I'll tell you why: The fat cats working out of air-conditioned offices around the district don't want to get sued by the parents of some poor kid that faints and has a seizure in the ridiculous heat of a classroom. I always hear about the importance of putting kids first and making the needs of the students a number-one priority, so why doesn't someone with enough power to change things either air-condition all the schools or not start school until the temperatures have dropped to tolerable levels?

"Of course there are many steps a person might choose to take to reduce the risk of heat stress, such as moving to a cooler place, reducing physical activity, or wearing loose and light clothing."

Okay, let's check that. Can we just choose to get up and leave our sweltering classrooms to move to a cooler place? Not unless we want to get sent to the office...which, now that I think about it, might not be a bad idea because the office is air-conditioned. Has anyone else noticed that it is so cool in the office that the secretaries wear sweaters all day? Why is it that the only places in the school that have working air-conditioning (the main office and the counseling center) are the places where most students never go? As far as reducing physical activity, that one isn't too hard because by fourth period most classrooms are so hot that many students actually begin to doze off. It's hard to move much in an environment more suitable for desert reptiles than human beings. And how 'bout all the flies circling in those rooms nearest the doors! I feel like vulture meat for the last three periods of every day! Wearing loose and light clothing would be a simpler option if not for the dress code, which seems to be most strictly enforced by those who do not spend their days in hot classrooms.

"Some heat disorders you should be aware of and know the warning signs." (The fact that they even feel compelled to share this information because they know they are endangering our health is one thing, but this isn't even a sentence!)

"Heat Stroke: A MEDICAL EMERGENCY: Sweating stops, mental confusion, convulsions, body temperature of 106 degrees, hot dry skin which may be red, mottled, or bluish. This is life threatening if not promptly treated. Call 911, and soak their clothing in cool water. Fanning will increase the cooling."

This is a junior high school, not a desert outpost in the sands of Saudi Arabia! The fact that they know the heat in classrooms could be "life threatening" and yet they still force us to go there is bad enough, but their solution (sending a memo) is crazy! Can you just picture teachers dousing unconscious students with cool water while other students stand around with makeshift fans trying to "increase the cooling" while waiting for the ambulance to arrive? Does this strike anyone else as ridiculous?

"Heat exhaustion: Results from loss of fluid through sweating. The skin is clammy and moist, skin pale or flushed, normal body temperature or slightly higher. Move person to a cool place and drink an electrolyte solution. (Gator-aid). Water is better than nothing."

How many teachers do you know that allow "(Gator-aid)." [That's not a sentence either!] in their classrooms? Do you think the school is keeping a supply of it on hand? I think most teachers have said we can bring bottled water, so I guess that's "better than nothing." (It makes me feel so loved!) The symptoms listed here seem to describe practically all the students in the school. I don't know about you, but my skin is clammy and moist by the time third period starts, and I'm pretty sure my body temperature is way higher than normal. In classrooms with no circulating air, I practically drip sweat! I mean I am makin' my own gravy! It's sick and wrong! And this one teacher (whose name I won't mention because I like him) is going to earn the nickname "Professor Pitstain" if he doesn't learn to keep his arms at his sides when it's 90+ in his room. Maybe we should just all descend on the office (a "cooler place") complaining of heat exhaustion. They couldn't send us back to class because it would make them look so bad if one of us actually dropped dead (or fainted) from the heat. We could have a sit-in! We deserve to be treated at least as well as the principals and superintendents because without us, none of them would have jobs, right?

Let's face facts: When the school is as hot as it has been lately, no education is taking place. Students are too uncomfortable and angry to learn much.

Here's an article from, get this, Hawaii. Notice that they expect classrooms to hit 89 degrees! Woo-hoo! That's at least a few degrees cooler than what we have here...and that is Hawaii, a tropical island with beaches! Notice also that they have a schedule to air-condition all the schools. I wonder if such a schedule exists here. I doubt it.

Or check out this video! These guys are cancelling class because of the heat, and the principal says that it's almost impossible to learn in such an environment. And they aren't as hot as we are!

Here's an article called "Hot Classrooms Stifle Learning." These schools send kids home early when the classrooms are hot.

I wish our teachers would do this! (The temperatures listed in the article are in Celsius degrees, not Fahrenheit. That's why they seem so low. It's a British school.)

So why do we put up with it? Why do parents not complain? Why don't we revolt? Is there any other institution in our society where decent people are forced to go and endure what the district admits is potentially life threatening discomfort?

The reason nothing changes is because the heat will subside in a few weeks, and we have a short memory. Next year, some of us may be fortunate enough to attend one of the new high schools that have air-conditioning, and we will leave the poor pathetic junior high kids to suffer in our place. But maybe the world would be a better place (and certainly a more comfortable one) if we made a stand.

Who's with me?